Is Sex With an Ex Ever Really Just Sex?

We’ve all had those nights as single women. You know the ones. You’re lying in bed, your mind starts going places, and the next thing you know your ex-boyfriend is coming over because you asked texted him in a moment of weakness or you’re headed over to his place because you finally gave into his incessant requests.

Eh, it happens.

You’ve done what you both came to do, you’re lying there together, and then comes the awkward-after-sex “stay or go” debacle in your head. You want to stay together and cuddle because it’s familiar and feels nice at the moment… but then again, you can’t help remembering all of the things you want to do in the morning and, let’s face it, you kind of just want to be in your bed alone and not have to deal with him when you wake up. Plus, there’s that whole “HA, I showed him” power you feel by leaving. So, you go home. Or, if he’s at your place, you insinuate in a very polite way that you have a ton to do in the morning and need to go to bed, hoping that he gets the hint to leave.

Ah, you just had a booty call with your ex-boyfriend. No big deal, right? After all, it was just sex, right?

 

WRONG!

Come on girls, you looked at the box when he pulled out that condom (“Excuse me, you BETTER be using a condom when you're having extracurricular activity with your ex-boyfriend”-Momma A). You know EXACTLY how many condoms were left in that yellow box. And, the next time he comes over for a late-night rendezvous, you’ll be thinking about that number when he pulls out that box of ultra-ribbed… wait, hold up, that’s an opened box of her pleasures he’s got this time. You know you’ve never used those with him so who has he been using them with? Has he been having sex with someone else too? He wouldn’t do that, would he?

Yes. Duh. Of course he would.

Did you really think you were special at 3am when he took a cab over to your place because he was wasted? Love you and hate to break it to you but you’re single now and so is he. Sorry, tough love here because I’ve BEEN THERE, dealt with these thoughts, and in the end always come to the same conclusion: Sex with an ex is NEVER just sex. You are keeping tabs on him in a subconscious way and, though you didn’t realize it at the time, you’re letting him have an effect on your emotions in a very negative way.  

Sex with an ex may be nice and it may be fun but you’ll always get hurt by it in some way or another. You will refer to it as “just sex” and seemingly feel no emotions towards your ex until you discover he is having sex with someone else. At that point, it’s personal and you’re going to feel a little hurt. And, when emotions are involved you will realize that sex with an ex is NEVER, ever just sex.

What do you think? Is sex with an ex ever really just sex?

-A